I told you in a previous post that I was going to update you on how we did each month implementing the gentle parenting step of the month. Step 1 was to slow down. Hubby and I read this step a couple of times throughout the month. The first time to discuss it and then a couple times to remember to put it into practice.
In the beginning, it was relatively easy. I mean what is there to disagree on? How to put on a diaper? We had roughly 8 and a half months to talk about and prepare for the choices we knew we needed to make together- sleeping arrangements, feeding, health related issues, gadgets, names. The tough part didn’t come until years later, starting with discipline. What is acceptable and what’s not? How do you communicate that? Once it was beyond, “no, no”, “don’t touch”, and “don’t eat that” it started to get tricky.
I often think that it is difficult for two people from different backgrounds, family dynamics, cultures, religions and whatever else might distinguish these two unique individuals that come together and form a unit. As a person you evolve, who you are today isn't necessarily who you will be a year from now or ten years from now. Aside from that, being in a relationship in a time of instant results, instant gratification, and acceptance of divorce is a tight rope to walk. Divorce doesn't have the taboo that it once did. So choosing to stay with someone in spite of their flaws, after you've seen them on their best and worst day, and making the choice to spend your life with them is a pretty special thing in my humble opinion.
This post came up in conversation today so I thought I would revive it in hopes someone that needs to read it might find some encouragement. This is a very raw and candid post for me so please overlook any errors you might find as it was written with tears in my eyes and soaking …
So how is it that you raise a child to not be socially awkward when they engage more with the television than other human beings? When do they get to utilize their imagination if they spend more time on their gadgets than in their room or at the park?
As a kid you always think that your parent not only plays favorites but has a favorite. They always take one child's side, always give in, overlook, coddle, and just plain treat them better. Of course as a kid it was my baby brother. My parents always took his side, blamed and punished me. As an adult, that's another story. I'm my mom's favorite hands down.
You think I would be better at raising a strong-willed child seeing as she is a carbon copy of me. She doesn't do it to be defiant, or rebellious, to impress her friends or act out. She doesn't do it in a malicious way or to prove a point. She does it because it is in her nature. It's part of who she is, just like it was in my nature at her age.
It has been an interesting week to say the least. On Monday afternoon, Chunky Munk came down with a fever of about 101.4. A pediatrician once told me that it is more than just the fever that you need to take into consideration. To have a low grade fever but an inconsolable child is worse …
So we did typical first date things- went out to eat (he took me to a local pizza joint and ordered wings...how in the world can you eat chicken wings and look cute?! You can't so I decided f*c$ it, I'm just going to eat the wings, forget being cute, and trying to impress, that's not me anyway. So I ate at least 10 wings and a slice of pizza and wanted to go into a food coma). As we rode in the car one day I noticed that we had almost the same radio stations saved on our radios. If it were a town of 1,200 people that wouldn't be saying much but living in a city with a plethora of stations I realized we had love for the same music, oldies being our number one station of choice. Sign #1.
Being a parent is hard work, you have these little beings observing your mannerisms, character, word choice and actions. You want to teach them to do right and be kind. There is a balance between friend and disciplinarian, between structure and individuality, between helping and