A lot of times, people don’t have healthy boundaries set because they know what they don’t want but they aren’t clear on what they do want.
When you establish healthy boundaries in a relationship, the key is to focus on what you will accept. The other thing to consider is why you’re establishing the boundaries in the first place. Are the boundaries meant as a barrier to protect you from something? Are they there to strengthen the foundation? I encourage you to explore the boundaries you’ve set in your relationship (spoken or unspoken) and make sure they are framed in a positive way (what you will allow) and are meant to nourish yourself and the partnership.
For example, from the very beginning, one of the things I knew is that I wouldn’t tolerate infidelity in my relationship. I had to reframe my old boundary of “I won’t tolerate cheating” to I will tolerate and encourage a healthy, loving, committed, monogamous relationship. That changes the entire focus of that boundary and even though it means the same thing, the energy behind it is different. We are in alignment with what we do want to put into our relationship.
What are your thoughts on healthy boundaries? How do you define healthy boundaries? Do you think it’s important to frame them in a positive way? Do you have to redefine some of yours? I’d love to hear your thoughts, feel free to share in the comments! If you have ideas for future Sweetheart Saturday posts you’d like to see something on, leave it in the comments!