My husband and I were talking yesterday and as I reflect on that conversation, I can’t help but think how thankful I am. It’s in the darkest times that you get to see what someone is really made of.
Personally, I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in my life. I’m spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy. I’m whole as an individual and fulfilled. Our marriage went through a really rough time many years ago when I was struggling with depression, postpartum depression, and back to depression again.
Now that we are in a phase that we can look back and see things clearly, I understand how strong and supportive he was. I’m thankful that he was there when I needed him in ways that I didn’t even realize or appreciate at the time. It would have been so much easier for him to say this isn’t what he signed up for and leave. He chose to stay and give me the time and space to get myself figured out. By doing so, our relationship has gotten stronger. I always knew that two whole people coming together to form a bond was a great foundation for a relationship. What I didn’t realize is that I was the one that was incomplete.
Now that I’ve put the time, work, and energy into becoming whole in every sense of the word every aspect of my life is coming into balance. While we’ve always had a good relationship, it would feel the pressure that I put on it. I didn’t see that at the time but now I’m able to look back and evaluate where we are and the changes that were made to get us here. By being complete, I’m able to bring the best of me into my marriage. I see things a different way and realize a lot of the issues that came up were due to me not taking responsibility and accountability for the emptiness within myself.
It’s been a 3-year journey of self-discovery, self-exploration, and self-love to get to where I am. I knew that it would benefit me to become a whole healthy being, what I didn’t expect was the magnitude at which it would impact every other aspect of my life. In a world where divorce is no longer banned or even frowned upon the way it once was and instant results are a way of life, I really admire my husband for taking his vows so seriously. For being so loving, supportive, and committed even when it would have been easy not to. Thank you for believing in me, thank you for sticking it out, thank you for being so dedicated. I’m so happy that we get to experience the calm after the storm and relish the beauty of life after depression together.