Sweetheart Saturday|Disagreements In Relationships

An interesting article hit my Facebook feed this week about arguments and relationships. I’ll link to the article itself at the end of this post, first I’d like to get your opinion and open up the discussion on this topic. Just so we’re all on the same page, we’ll set the parameters. For the sake of this discussion, we’ll use the term disagreement and understand that means there’s a difference in opinion.

Personally, I feel like there’s a difference between a disagreement and an argument. To me, a disagreement is a discussion with two points of view and experience that can be communicated in a respectful way. An argument is an escalated disagreement where emotions are highly charged and one or both parties is unwilling to be objective or considerate of the other side. Disagreements and arguments alike won’t necessarily result in an agreement or an understanding, the difference is in the communication and intention.


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You might enjoy this post on individuality in relationships.


Feel free to follow your vote up with your thoughts in the comments section! I’d love to hear what you have to say! Share what you think makes for healthy disagreement in a relationship. Why do you think it’s important for couples to be able to disagree? Why don’t you? Do you feel comfortable disagreeing with your partner? Does your partner feel comfortable disagreeing with you? Do you think there’s a difference between a disagreement and an argument?

If you want to check out the article that inspired this post, you can read it here.

If disagreements have escalated past arguments and you are in an unsafe relationship, I encourage you to reach out. Whether male or female, no one deserves to be abused (mentally, emotionally, physically or otherwise). Please click here for information and support.

17 thoughts on “Sweetheart Saturday|Disagreements In Relationships

  1. I think disagreements are part and parcel of a normal and healthy relationship. In the end I think it’s all about mutual respect and communication, whatever the disagreement. Hope you’re well and having a good weekend Niki. xo

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  2. I think you need to add another category–misunderstanding. Too often in my love relationship there have been hard feelings/hurt feelings over misunderstandings (comments or actions are misinterpreted in their intent or meaning). Sometimes the more we try to clarify, the more disagreeable it can become!

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  3. I think that disagreements are part of life in any kind of relationship. I have more of a problem disagreeing with my partner than she does with me I think. I will often just shut my mouth and not say anything, I’m not a confrontational person. Nice post Niki πŸ™‚

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    1. And that’s a very good point to raise. My husband is like that as well. I think if opinions can be voiced in a respectful and loving way that it can be very healthy for the relationship and for each individual. I couldn’t fathom not voicing my opinion or thoughts to my husband. I have learned to change the way that I do it though because I don’t want it to turn into a confrontation or an argument. I’ve had to change my approach and response because otherwise I know my husband will shut down, let me talk and then walk away because he avoids conflict at all costs. As much as I want to get my thoughts out, I also want him to because I don’t want him to feel like he can’t express his opinion without an argument ensuing. Thanks for sharing Simon!

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      1. That’s the thing. When it comes out as a nag, or criticism I shut off because it’s like being a little boy and being barked at by my mum. It’s good you’ve realised this…

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      2. I had to train myself but first I had to admit to myself that I was like that. For a long time I didn’t want to. I just wanted to focus on the actions or behaviors I called him out on but I didn’t want to address the way I handled or approached it. Once I took an honest look at myself and realized how I was coming across I was mortified. I didn’t want to be that person. It took a lot of practice and I had to check in with myself regularly throughout the day to watch my tone and my intention behind my words. I’ve gotten a lot better and I’ll catch myself before I “nag” and reframe it. Instead of calling him out or pointing out something in a negative way, I’ll thank him and continue with a request or a suggestion in a very loving way. He knows right away that I’m not going to follow up a compliment with a put down and my tone doesn’t put him in shut down mode. I can’t remember what made me realize this but I think it came about in conversation when we read the 5 love languages together.

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      3. It’s good you realised it. I don’t know why this kind of thing has turned into the norm.
        I find that because of the way it comes across I’m now less polite at times and I hate being like that.

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      4. I’m not sure either, it’s socially accepted and perpetuated though. You don’t have to answer this here, just take this with you- how can you respond in a way that communicates how you feel without confrontation?

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  4. I agree with Miriam, it’s healthy to have a difference of opinion but it’s so important to respect other peoples thoughts and remember to not take it as a personal slight as we often automatically do.
    It’s definitely a good thing to encounter a different perspective and genuinely give it some consideration. It’s great brain exercise and even if you remain sure of your own opinion, being able to exchange thoughts, ideas and morals with another human and not let it develop into an aggressive confrontation seems like a skill that could only have a positive impact.

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    1. Yes, that’s why I wanted to use the word disagreement instead of argument because I believe a disagreement is a healthy and respectful exchange of different opinions. Arguments are more heated and one or both are unwilling to hear and be open to what the other person is saying. It takes practice if we aren’t used to it but I agree, it is positive πŸ™‚

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  5. This October will be my 24th anniversary. I’m pleased to say that we are still very much in love. We’ve had disagreements and heated arguments. Neither of us places being right above
    our relationship and love for each other. This helps us to work things through.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Robert! Oh my goodness, congratulations!!! That is so beautiful ❀ I love hearing people share things like that, not only are you celebrating so many years together, and still in love!! That's a great boundary, not choosing to be right over love and respect. Thank you for sharing, have a great, weekend and happy anniversary to both of you ❀

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