Violence Isn’t The Answer, What’s the Solution?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few days. With everything going on, I keep trying to think of what the solution could be. I immediately think extremes aren’t the answer (don’t worry I’m not going to suggest taking all guns away). So if it’s not an extreme, then what could it be? That takes my mind in the opposite direction. What about a holistic approach? You know, when you try to go to the root of the problem, find out how you can treat that and then symptoms will start to fade and the problem will go away.

So in thinking of holistic approaches, the source of the problem seems to be us not identifying as one. How do we treat that? What if we started to get rid of labels? What if we removed the racial boxes to check on forms? What if we celebrated our differences regularly instead of by special days or months? What if different was considered beautiful? What if we boasted about a country’s diversity? What if we focused more on bonding and building up our fellow man? What if we realized we only advance when everyone is accepted? What if we stand together to include the marginalized? What if as a society we promote praising, encouraging and complimenting others? What if we stopped sharing the videos and recirculating the photos that put people down, make them look bad, and get a laugh at someone’s expense? What if we started each day knowing that we can each make a difference in someone’s life even if it doesn’t make the news? What if we sought to be a helping hand and showcase the best in someone else? What if we gave a little more and spent a little less?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that racism, discrimination, prejudice, bullying, and other problems seem isolated but they are really interconnected. They all have something in common; lack of unity. It would be harder to treat someone badly if we identified with them and considered them one of our own. These problems stem from a place that lacks love, acceptance, understanding, empathy and kindness. If the positive things were showcased as much as negative things currently are, we would see a change. People’s perceptions would change, morale would be lifted, hope and faith in humanity would be restored and people would assume the best in others. What would happen if as a society we started to shut down negativity? If we didn’t indulge in gossip. If we didn’t thrive off of real life drama. If we didn’t tune into the endless serving of negativity dished out on the news buffet. If we didn’t laugh at the joke that was meant to single out, offend and inflict pain on someone. If we stood up for that person that was being publicly shamed. If we congratulated people for doing the right thing even when it didn’t benefit them. How long would it take before negativity were left without a breeding ground if we shut it down the way we are told to do when a child seeks out negative attention?

We’ve been tuning into it for way too long. We’ve learned to live in a world conditioned to accept and promote hatred, division, segregation, and superiority. We’ve learned to tolerate people getting ahead by putting others down. We’ve seen negative things go viral and get more attention than its deserving counterpart. We’ve accepted the notion that we live in a world where kindness is a rarity and we don’t know where to find it. It’s going to take us doing something different for us to yield different results. How badly do we want it? Do we want to see change or do we want to talk about the negativity and fantasize about change? Do we want to do what it takes or do we want someone to stand up and make a change that we can easily benefit from? I’m not suggesting extreme changes, it’s a simple change that takes commitment and dedication. It’s a change that starts with you and I. It’s understanding that our actions have a direct and indirect impact on those around us. It’s accepting that we create a ripple and it’s up to us if that will be absorbed by the hurricane of negativity or turn into a tidal wave of kindness.

Everyday Kindness
If this post spoke to you, click the photo to join the community focusing on showcasing kindness! ❤

Keeping our thoughts solution focused, what suggestions do you have? What changes can we make to make our neighborhood, society, country and world a better place? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post and for you to share your ideas in the comments section.

21 Replies to “Violence Isn’t The Answer, What’s the Solution?”

  1. What a thought provoking post ! The world would be so different if even 10% of the population starts to practice this. And yes, you are right, the change has to begin with ourselves. Your posts are a reflection of what a wonderful human being you are!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, that means so much to me! We all play a bigger part in change than we often realize. If we all do our part and encourage others to do so with our actions not our words, we can make the world a better place ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lack of unity and lack of understand we are one godly family, we are all sisters and brothers, we are all one family. If we all see each other with these eyes, this is my sister , my brother, they all have a right to happiness , if we transmit love and peace, kindness and compassion, heart felt smile , honest and truthfulness, we can as a society as a world , we can be united. Let us always be positive and human to our fellow human being.

    Lovely post, I hope it receives the readership it dissevers – for it should be read by the world for the world to become a better place. So I am going to tweet it – my bit for help create a better world

    thanks for an nice post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am happy to have stumbled across you just now and I love this post! Awesome insight. Thank you for sharing. I think there are at least a million potential solutions. Here are one or two of mine. I must warn you. I am long winded.

    One huge issue I see it the fact that we tend to teach our children not to question authority and follow that nonsense up by placing almost everyone around them in to the “authority” category. I am actually working on a post for today which addresses this issue so I won’t give it all away. Issue with this one – what percentage of racist people exist in this country whose only basis for their hate is information heard during childhood and were taught not to question that information. I could fill my son’s head with ugly statements about certain groups of people and without permission to question my information, what else is he to believe?

    My second issue is regarding is teaching children about taking responsibility for their own choices, thoughts, actions and blah, blah, blah. I found a new blogger yesterday whom I am tickled about. What is going through right now proves how critical this is. Her husband is a complete and pathetic loser who has sucked the life out of this woman. She happens across an email he wrote his mommy and her terrible response. He was whining about his pitiful life and his marriage coming to an end. His enabling mommy writes back telling him what a wonderful and perfect boy he is and how terrible his wife is for putting him through all this suffering. Wrong answer! The wife owns the fact in that blog post that she is not perfect or without fault. How this ties in to racism is by way of our constant need for a scapegoat. America will find a way to turn the tables on the two innocent lives lost which led up to the Dallas incident. Every racist in this country will find or invent a way to make it the fault of the innocent man instead of choosing to look inside and ask themselves what are they doing to make things better or or they in fact adding to the hate and violence.

    This is just my two cents worth. I am not an authority on anything and I beg my child to question everything. There is only one race – the human race.

    I’m sorry. One more quick idea. Not an original. I am borrowing it. I sign each post with “hugs” because the world is desperate for them. There are actual groups formed/forming which promote hugging perfect strangers, with their consent. I do practice it and find it very healing, certainly for myself and hopefully for the stranger. I do this in a safe way such as inside my grocery store. I have never been turned down and you should see the funny looks I get. Touch is healing. Good touch. I don’t discriminate in my quest for hugs.

    I am so happy to have found you and can’t wait to dive into your blog. I have stepmonster issues so I like reading about the step-mothers point of view.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you found me Leah! Thank you so much, I appreciate you taking the time to leave such kind words and a response to this post.

      I agree, children are a product of their environment. Of course there comes a time that we are no longer children and we either go with what we were taught through actions and observation or we find our own way- be it positive or negative. Children are naturally inquisitive and I encourage mine to exercise good decision making skills which doesn’t mean doing everything because someone orders them to do so (and often means it’s the harder parenting choice because we have to answer even more questions) 😉

      I agree that it’s important for people to learn the power of accountability. The earlier someone can realize accountability is a virtue and not a weakness the better off they’ll be in life.

      I haven’t heard of these hugging groups before. That’s new to me. I think the world is starving from a lack of connection. “Social” media is a void replacement and I’m sure one day people will look back at us and wonder what was wrong with us trying to fill human connection through virtual means. I went to a seminar earlier this year and I hugged more in those two days than my entire life’s worth of hugs no lie and that’s considering my mom is a hugger! Not only the amount of hugs but the duration of them. They were at least 10 minute hugs for these exercises we did. I have to admit, I’m not touchy feely so at first it was very uncomfortable for me. By the end of the day I was hugging everyone goodbye just because 🙂

      I hope you enjoy what I have to offer over here. I’m not a stepmom but I can point you in the direction of several stepmoms in my community if you’d like 🙂

      Sending lots of light, love and kindness your way! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree, violence is a symptom of a deeper problem. I agree there is lack of unity…and it’s all rooted in fear.

    “There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.” —Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. That is a very fitting quote and a great reminder. I love the part that goes on to say that we can’t feel love and fear at the same time. May we all learn to come from a place of love more times than not ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Root cause analysis. Holistic solutions. They go together.
    Much of fear is based in prejudice, literally to pre-judge. In today’s polarized society, the ol’ birds of a feather increasingly flock together. When we don’t actually talk to the :other” (Talk? what’s that? How do you even do it?) it’s easy to construct “stories” about how “they” are.

    Watch TV for an evening. How is conflict portrayed? (negative connotations abound). How is it resolved? Almost without exception, violence. Violence is “sexy.” Conflict resolution is not. The result is that violence is our “go-to” solution.

    We can transform the world and each other in large & small ways. The starting place is to acknowledge that there is another, better, way.


    1. Thank you Jacqueline. After writing it I simmered on those words and that really is the bottom line. We can’t wait for lawmakers, community leaders, or authorities to handle the situation and hope for change. We all play a part in the change and it really does start with each one of us. Thanks for reading, have a great rest of your day ❤


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