There are many aspects of a relationship. A couple is formed by two people yet somewhere along the road individuality is lost. We go from “me” to “we” as it should be but the “me” shouldn’t be completely forgotten. While it’s important to have a strong partnership you can’t forgot that it’s made by two individuals that form a unit.
So my question today is, do you remember to set time aside to cultivate the things you love?
For a long time, I put myself on the backburner. Letting the day to day things take over every aspect of my day. My every thought and action revolved around making the household run smoothly, contributing my part, and getting tied up with the constant errands and tasks. I realized that I rarely did things that I enjoyed, I was spending day after day doing things I told myself I had to do. Sure groceries needed to be purchased, kids had to get to school, and meals had to be cooked. But surely I could find time to do something I enjoyed. Even if only for 15 minutes to half an hour a day. I started journaling, drawing, or reading at night before bed instead of watching TV. I love to watch something before I go to sleep to just wind down and relax. I realized that instead of watching an hour if I watched half an hour and then read for the other half hour that I was doing something for me just because I enjoyed it. As simple as it seems that’s something I really needed.
Over the years I’ve gotten better at making time for myself. I’ve realized it’s a necessity for me to restructure my day to allow time for me to do things I enjoy. Blogging is one of those things, meditation, and yoga are other things I do regularly throughout the week. I still have the same amount of time but I’ve dropped some commitments that I realized don’t matter as much to me and don’t bring any value to the family unit. My daughter only participates in 1 activity twice a week now instead of something everyday. That gives me time to get a blog post written or a meditation session in while she’s playing instead of taking her back and forth between places and wearing us all out in the process.
My husband is a baseball fanatic and plays on a team. That gives him his time to disconnect, hang out with his group of friends and just do something he enjoys. That’s my alone time with the girls. We’ll do something together and enjoy some quality girl time. We do a lot of activities as a family but personally I also have a strong need to feel like a person outside of the main roles in my life (mom and wife). Having hobbies and activities that are just for me is a way to express myself and remain true to who I am without having to compromise my self-identity.
You might be interested in this post about balance in a relationship.
This post reflects on a Tao of balance.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel the need to have a personal identity or are you ok being part of a two for one package? What kinds of things do you do that are just for you? Do you feel this way but haven’t found the way to balance it? What can you do to remember who you are as an individual? Is there a class you could attend? Something you could do while your partner and or kids are asleep or busy doing other things? Is this something you’ve been able to find balance in? How does that work out for you? I’d love to hear your story, feel free to share! Happy Saturday!