A-Z Challenge: Short Story- Shaken

This is part of my A-Z Challenge posts. My theme is emotions and states of being. This is where the letter “S” took my writing.

This is inspired by a fellow blogger that captivated me with their ability to write such shocking and profound stories in only 4-6 sentences. I’d normally link back but none of A.K. Teller’s blogs are currently active. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to achieve this feat but I at least wanted to try. I figured there’s no time like a challenge to see what you’re made of so here’s my attempt at micro short story writing!

Shaken

Daddy was waiting outside in the truck to take me to breakfast before school like he does every Friday. Daddy told me to grab my coat when he saw me walk out of the house because he said it was too cold not to wear one today. When I got outside the truck was off, the door was open, and the keys were on the seat. I thought Daddy was playing hide and go seek but when I looked around I saw he was getting in a black truck with two men I didn’t know. I ran inside to tell Mommy two men named ICE left with Daddy in a black truck. I don’t like Fridays anymore, that was the last time I saw Daddy.

water-car-dew-rain-large.jpg

*For clarification purposes, ICE in this story is in reference to Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Ok, so what are your thoughts? I’m trying to tackle things and write in ways I normally wouldn’t. This challenge is making me want to take my writing further. I can’t believe it’s nearly over! Did you like it? Did you know where I was going with it? Did it make you feel anything? I’m all ears 🙂


This post is part of the A-Z challenge. For details on the challenge, click here.

Core post summing up what the challenge is about, why I signed up, and what my theme is.

Challenge Posts- you can find all of the posts here.

The Richness of a Simple Life- N° 414

If you haven’t checked out the Kindness Challenge I’m hosting in May, stop by. We could all use a little more kindness in our lives!

11 Replies to “A-Z Challenge: Short Story- Shaken”

      1. I’m sorry, I didn’t know what ICE meant so I assumed two guys just took him away and his daughter saw. I thought it was futuristic or something. I don’t think you had the clarification there when I read it, so I was talking creepy scary…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahhahaha another blogger pointed that out and I thought “ohhhhhhhhh that’s why I got the consent about it being creepy…”. My fault…dang it can’t believe I’ve messed this story up with that. I put the clarification in after your comment once the other blogger pointed out my oversight…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I understand what you mean by “taking [your] writing further”. Well done! You’ve told a much bigger story in very few sentences. However, because I couldn’t remember what ICE stood for, I had to look it up, which lessened the story’s impact. Not your fault; more an effect of my own advancing age. But I wonder if a reference to a foreign culture — a name, an object, a single word — would trigger that association organically without telegraphing your ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaaaah, good point that I hadn´t taken into consideration… Thank you for bringing that up… now a previous blogger´s comment makes more sense to me… let me make a little note in the post so that´s clear to those unfamiliar with it. Thanks for taking the time to comment, that´s very helpful feedback.

      Like

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