This is part of my A-Z Challenge posts. In keeping with my theme of emotions and states of being, this is where the letter of the day (L) took my writing.
Can you only be lonely when you are alone? Is it more lonely to be physically alone or to be accompanied but emotionally alone? Have you ever been with someone but felt like they weren’t really there? Is the saying true that it’s better to be alone than in bad company? Is there a difference between valuing alone time and wanting to be left alone? At what point does preferring your own company make you a loner? Doesn’t everyone want to be left to ponder their thoughts by themselves for some length of time? Is there comfort in loneliness or despair? Are you alone and wishing for someone to fill the void or are you with someone and wishing to be alone? What words or feelings come to mind when you think of the word lonely?
Sometimes we just need someone to be there. Not to fix anything or or do anything in particular, just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported.
-Unknown
I was having a hard time finding time to write for this post so I wrote in a “Stream of Consciousness” style just writing whatever popped in my mind with little to no editing in 10 minutes. This is a style of writing I’m embracing even though it’s very hard for me to not go back and fix, add, and rewrite. Linda will be posting her Stream of Consciousness prompt on Friday, I encourage you to check it out as it’s a great way to warm up and flex your writing muscles.
Sometimes writing from the heart – and the sub-conscious – is the most truthful and heartfelt way of writing. Raw and honest. L is for Lovely post Niki. 🙂
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Thank you Miriam. Sometimes you just have to get in there and clean it all out! This is my way of doing so 😉
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I think loneliness is hard to talk about because it isn’t a pleasant emotion. Even so, nice job. At least there aren’t too many of these unpleasant emotions!
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It is a hard think to talk about, uncomfortable and hard to explain and be understood. Loneliness can also be accompanied by it’s friends Depression and Anxiety. This challenge has been a way to bring some of the uncomfortable subjects to the table that I wouldn’t normally do. Thanks for reading Anna!
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I’ve been lonely before, wanting someone to fill the void. It seems like so long ago that I felt lonely. I’m alone…but I’m not. I enjoy being alone and have no desire for marriage. I much prefer being alone than being in relationship. Probably because I’m just always with the wrong ones, but relationships make me crazy and mess with my head. When I’m alone, I’m at peace. What does that say about me?? I don’t know. It’s kinda weird because I’m extremely extroverted and like being around people…until I don’t. 🙂
Michele at Angels Bark
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I understand what you mean. Personally I feel like there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. I think it’s beautiful to be comfortable in your own skin and your own company. I don’t think humans are meant to lonely so the company of those you enjoy around you provide interaction and when you are alone you are peace because you have accepted yourself. That’s my opinion only. I was surprised when I got married because I’ve always been comfortable in my own company, with a small close inner circle and friendly to everyone I meet but never really wanted or needed more…until I did 😉
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well said! That’s a good interpretation.
We sound very much alike!
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We do!
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In many ways, all of my writing is a stream of consciousness. As to lonely, to me there is a world of difference between being alone and being lonely. You can be both. But being alone does not in and of it’s self make one lonely. Likewise, company does not always alleviate loneliness. I need, crave a little alone down time each day. Say, maybe 30 minutes to and hour. If it is of my choosing, I can enjoy a whole weekend all to myself. More than 3 or 4 days and I start seeking company. But I may feel this way because I am seldom alone. If my life were reversed and I was usually alone, I think I’d be fine most of the time, but it might become that I sought out some type of company for that 30 minutes to one hour each day. Everything might just reverse itself.
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Thank you for reading Barbara. I agree, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I have been a loner most of my life and while I think interaction with other people is part of human nature, I can also easily shut myself in my house and have none for days at a time when I’m inspired to write or do something creative. I can relate to your comment and as I’m seldom alone I also crave my alone time. So I get up an hour early and have some time all to myself before the day begins for anyone else at home 🙂
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Being alone has gotten a bad rap. The whole FOMO (fear of missing out) has led people to equate being alone with being a “loser”. I need my alone time to process life. I feel my daily life is a tornado of stimuli, and I get caught up in the draft, which can be really destructive. It’s only when I get out of the whirlwind of daily life that I can process the damage, pick up what is salvageable from the rubble, and leave behind what no longer works.
thanks for giving me the space to ponder & share!
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I agree. I’ve always been comfortable in my own company. I’ve always been a “loner”. I’ve had friends but I’ve also just gone my own way. I’m not afraid to do things because I’m on my own or doing it alone. Even in my younger teenage and early adult years, I had tons of friends but did most things alone…It’s good that you recognize that about yourself. I hope that you are able to take time out to be alone with your thoughts regularly to calm the storm. I’m glad you came upon this post 🙂
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Loneliness is a state of being, I believe. 🙂
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And can be passing or lingering… 😉
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Absolutely! Our consciousness keeps shifting.. 🙂
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And hopefully evolving. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment 🙂
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‘At what point does preferring your own company make you a loner?’ Good question! That and the others.
Often alone, but rarely lonely. A world of difference between the two. Great choice for L post.
Happy A-Zing in the company of friends! 🙂
Nilanjana.
Ninja Minion
Madly-in-Verse
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Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment 🙂
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I did the stream of conscious challenge with Linda. Loved it.
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A lot of fun!
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Nice post!
I do stream of consciousness in my journal a lot.
As a caretaker to my husband who has tbi and ptsd I often feel lonely even when he’s sitting next to me. I’m working on a post about it and maybe help connect others who are in the same boat.
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What a great way to get your emotions out so you don’t stuff them inside and hold onto them. I hope you have the support you need; I can imagine it’s not easy.
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My journal would probably make psychologists retire! Lol
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Awwww 😦 I’m glad it’s a way to honestly express your emotions.
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I love the quote. I think loneliness is an emotion which we can experience when we are alone, but also when we are surrounded by others. For me, the most poignant expression of loneliness, is when I am with others but feel truly alone and invisible. Loneliness is also linked to sadness, depression, and other negative emotions. I think what makes loneliness easier to bear is when we know we aren’t truly alone, and that someone is there to lift us up or remind us of the joy in our life. I also think we need to remind each other that it is okay to be lonely, and that there is nothing wrong in needing time to be alone as well.
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Very true, loneliness often accompanies other emotions. It’s beautiful to find the balance of being comfortable being alone and not feeling invisible when you’re surrounded.
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