#MomLife Monday- Listening: Step 2 Summary

I told you in this post about the 12 steps to gentle parenting that my husband and I were going to focus on to help us be the parents we want to be. I’m so busy coming up with ideas I forgot I had one in the bag with the step 2 update!

February focused on listening. I didn’t think I was going to be very good at this because my child is quite the talker and I have a habit of tuning her out so I can hear the thoughts inside my head. That said, I did learn a lot about her and laugh quite a bit by tuning into her more. I not only listen to her express herself but I digested what she had to say and was able to understand her on her level. I could tell that she appreciated me listening, understanding, and empathizing.

She also accepted direction, instruction and my opinion better because my approach was different. Instead of being bossy mom, I was kind mom. I watched what I said and the way I said it because I played it in my head first and listened with the ears of my former 7 year old self. We always talk during our walk home from school, but she opened up more because she could tell I was actively listening not umm hmming and ah haaaing just for sound effects to fill the silence between pauses in her story.

I still have things to work on, but focusing my attention on one thing at a time is helping me to be the kinder, gentler, more tender mom I want to be. If you missed step 1 on slowing down, check out the post here. To see the 12 step plan in it’s entirety, go to this post by the creator of the plan we’re following.

It’s not too late to start. We are at the beginning of a new month, so go ahead and implement step 1 for the month of March and continue from there. Our next step is to live it so the focus of this month will be to lead by example. In addition to remembering to slow down and listen, now I need to be conscious of what I do along with what I say. This is a practice that I already love, but will be on the forefront of my mind. Wish me luck!

12 Replies to “#MomLife Monday- Listening: Step 2 Summary”

  1. I think this is great, when they are given this guidance and are aware in their way that you listen, they will do the same, and become caring teenages and adults who listen to what people have to say, they will understand the art of listening, which escapes many, it’s a great and needed step


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  2. What a wonderful and mindful approach to parenting. Good for you. With such insight and self reflection you are modeling wonderful behaviors for your child. It will pay back for years to come and not just in the moment. She is learning the value of being listened to, how to be empathic and valued. It is often the solid foundation of many positive parenting programs. I think many will appreciate your sharing of your journey. Because while it sounds easy there are always those moments we can forget and slide backwards–because we are all human. However with someone as attuned to this and being mindful is really the key! Did you see my post about parenting: no right way?

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    1. I love this 12 step approach. I saw all of these things that I was doing that I didn’t like, and I wanted to change but I didn’t know how. Change is hard. So instead of changing everything at once, it’s so much easier to focus on one change over the course of a month and form a habit out of it before moving onto the next one. There are days that you slip into old habits or days that it’s hard to exercise the new one, but overall, I’m a better parent to her now than I was before. She has definitely noticed the change in me and I can see her attitude and her behavior improve. Not that she was bad, but she would have her moments and I now realize that she was acting out because she didn’t feel validated. I remember feeling the way she felt as a child and telling myself I would NEVER be like that as a parent and yet I found myself emulating behaviors that I despised as a child. My focus was in the wrong place. Instead of telling myself what I did want to be as a parent, I was focusing on what I didn’t and walked right into modeling that behavior. Mindulness has definitely been the key to this for me because by getting up early, having an hour to myself before the day starts, and getting myself in a good frame of mind, I am much better equipped to handle the day. I haven’t seen your post yet, I have quite a few blogs to take a peek at from this week’s meet and greet, but I’ll definitely check it out as soon as I can. Thank you so much for your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

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