There are few things that move me to my core but of those few are my children. As a person my every sense is heightened and every feeling intensified when it has to do with my children.
The joy that I feel when they accomplish something shines bright enough to light an auditorium. The empathy I feel for them when they are discouraged or disappointed is such that it feels it were my own. The fear I have for their safety when a news story mirrors a family much like our own is temporarily paralyzing. The impotence I feel when I can’t make things better with a hug, a kiss, the right words or even nursing is like none I’ve ever known before becoming a parent.
There is nothing that hurts more than situations that involve my children. There is no greater fulfilment than my children.
The love and admiration that I have for them is nothing short of amazing. They have changed my life in almost every aspect that I can think of and I’m glad because they make me want to be better. Every choice I make, I make it consciously knowing that they will be impacted by it to some capacity. I love their innocence, their silliness, how carefree life is for them, that they say what they think and how they feel without filter. When I take a step back and observe them I realize I have as much to learn from them as they do from me.
Being a parent is hard work, you have these little beings observing your mannerisms, character, word choice and actions. You want to teach them to do right and be kind. There is a balance between friend and disciplinarian, between structure and individuality, between helping and enabling, between treating and spoiling, guidance and overpowering. There is no one way that works for every situation much less every child. There are challenges and obstacles and yet I love every moment of it- sometimes after tucking them into bed and plopping down on the couch with a plate full of cheese and crackers and a glass of wine in the other hand.